Jay Z: Relationship and Marriage Role Model? Eh, I dont think so

-- Yeah, man. They bought it hook , line and sinker. Its cracks me up too

 ((( Now to be clear, the other day I read online a battle between a guy and girl.

Guy: Ladies, Follow bey, get a job, get man, marry, then have kids... take notes

Girl: oh no, You take notes, J got a job, got a married then become a father....

This is where I stepped in and had to say Hov is the LAST person I'd take notes from.... and here is a great summation of why))

Aside from the obvious, the 2008 public ascension of the Obama family had numerous peripheral effects on our culture, including (but not limited to)….

1. We all joked about this at the time, but you can make the argument now that Barack Obama did actually bring light-skinned men “back in style.” Perhaps it’s just coincidence, but at this moment the most popular young rapper, most popular young black entertainer, and most popular young black athlete all easily pass the paper bag test. Hmm.

2. We assumed that seeing the Obama family in the White House would have a panoramic effect on dating and relationships in the black community. It did, but just not in the way we expected it to, as “Wait a second, if Michelle found Barack, how come the rest of you educated black chicks can’t find any men?” became the dominant conversation of the past three years.

While he didn’t exactly sign any bills or pass any laws to make sure that light-skinned black men would no longer be oppressed, Obama’s status as a symbol, a cultural icon is so powerful that he’s able to affect change by just existing.

Jay-Z, the most famous new father on Earth, obviously doesn’t have the same cultural cache as the president, but he’s extremely influential nonetheless. So influential, in fact, that there’s been a burgeoning conversation that Jay’s apparent love for Beyonce and his new daughter might possibly have some peripheral effect on black males everywhere, who’d hopefully stop (collectively) dicking around and finally realize how cool it is to be a loving husband and doting father.

This conversation crescendoed yesterday with the release of “Glory” — a song devoted to his infant daughter and featuring his infant daughter. Saccharin? Sure, but if Google and the blogosphere are any indications, it definitely helped to cement Jay-Z’s new status as a certified positive relationship and marriage role model…a sentiment that’s about as far from the f*cking truth as you can get.

Again, Jay-Z does appear to be in a very happy and healthy relationship, and that’s commendable and enviable. But calling the Jigga Man a relationship role model is like lauding the Nazis for turning Germany’s economy around; you can’t completely eschew the means just so you can lavish praise on the end. In Jay-Z’s case, his super duper awesome marriage is a direct result of the decades of dirt he did to get where he is now.

But, forget about that for a sec. Let’s say that Jay-Z is actually a relationship and marriage role model. Since he’s a role model, a young man would be wise to attempt to follow in his footsteps. In order to do this, the young man would have to do each of the following things:

Spend his late teens and early 20′s amassing a small fortune while being a malignant cancer to his community.

Use the money accumulated by being a cancer to fund a new business venture.

Amass an even larger fortune by unapologetically outlining, in detail, everything he did while he was being a malignant cancer to his community. Do this for 15 years.

Sleep with perhaps hundreds of different women, and amass more of a fortune by unapologetically outlining, in detail, every possible way to diss, demean, degrade, and just generally sh*t on the women he was able to sleep with. Do this for 15 years, too.

Use status and fortune obtained by A) being a cancer, B) outlining exactly how he was a cancer, C) sh*tting on women, and D) outlining exactly how he sh*t on women to bag one of the most sought after women on the planet. Marry said woman.

Ironically, most of the statements I’ve heard about Jay-Z being a relationship role model have come from women.

Why is this ironic? Well, they’re right. Jay-Z already is a role model…for all the men who want to be able to do as much dirt as they can in their 20′s and 30′s and still be able to pull a young hot chick when they’re a decade away from AARP and finally ready to settle down.

These women fail to realize that they’re indirectly praising and promoting the type of behavior they abhor. While it’s true that Jay-Z probably does genuinely love and adore his wife, men like that can only consider “loving” after they’ve made monsters out of dozens of women. Basically, his life is the blueprint for how to be a successful diva dude.

I imagine the tone of this post makes it seem like I’m anti-Jay-Z, and that’s totally not true. I think he’s many positive things. The greatest rapper of all-time. A savvy businessman. An instinctual opportunist. A cultural icon. A real life Horatio Alger tale. A (seemingly) great husband and father.

But, as Panama’s piece last week about Common reminds us, we have to be careful with assigning certain titles to people who don’t deserve or even want them. And, regarding Jay-Z’s new status as the marriage and relationship role model for young black men, be careful what you wish for because it just might happen.

  Reblogged   — “The Champ”

Full 411: Occupy LIFE

I know I havent posted online in a while but let me Give a FULL 411.

As you know I've been doing Shows and Graduated from College. No?  Oh, yeah, Im a Grad now baby! Guess, Ive been too busy working to even brag or celebrate it in a Major way yet. I guess its just now setting in and I've decided to go to Law School. Its NOT a game over here.

Life has a wierd way of placing things right in your lap when the space is given. I've had some burdens and 2011 didnt come without its Bad News...like : what the heck am I going to do with all this free time? Nothing like an economic meltdown to make the most well to do person feel like a nobody. Chicks dont want no "unemployed" guy, they may be jobless themselves but being "between jobs" actualy means you have jobs to "be between. Yeah, the networking events feel like dating.

Oh...and Im Single. Never thought I'd ever say this but... Im Loving it. Im just had so much time to myself and to grow and really want to be by myself. Ive never been single and this is my 1st single Winter since high school. I dont date, hate the dating scene but Im not the only one. As long as your spending some quality time thats good enough and actually CHILL from our Busy Lives. How busy? Well, I now work for the Mayors Office of NYC on Wall St. as an External Affairs Coordinator.

Thanks to AmeriCorps and NY Service I can put my skills to use, meet people and build on ME. Damn, I love New York City. However, its not all fun and games. I've been taking up my free time with volunteering. In these times when no one has a job, the best thing to do (besides selling drugs or your body) is to sell your time. TimebanksNYC and NY Cares are great ways to just be active, build your resume, meet new people and add some new hobbies to your life that you wouldnt have heard about from your friends.

Ever since I  did my "30 Days Without Google" Experiment, I learned something... "Occupy LIFE". Yeah... I started the Occupy Movement early #ShrugLife but its just like Occupy Wall St. If you dont like the way that things are going, you have to get out there. I, for example, went to every person I knew and asked them how they got there job, i search for jobs on site I never heard of, and i paid attention to my surroundings. You never know when a old name/topic my come up again and give you an IN.

Never take a WIN for granted and Never Take a Loss to Heart. My former client Ken Wydro, Broadway Producer, told me after my break up : Life makes room for big things.  I know I'm blessed to be where and how I am but its never too late to have a change in mindset.

Since then, I've toured, been to several boardway shows and even got selected to final auditions for MTV's REAL World (shhhh its a Secret...well not so much). So get out there and spread love in a Karma Free way. Because even though there are alot of winners out there, they arent all Karma-Free Activities...but hey, live your life. Not every makes it to the Nursing Home (Un/Fortunetly) but until then: Occupy Life.

Statistics vs Relationship: WTF?! (Wheres The Faith)

Last week in the kitchen my friend and I have a small chit chat...went like this
Her: I wanna have a kid...is that selfish?
Me: Maybe...if you weren't Single. Maybe if you were doing it with someone else it would sound that way.
Her: I know but I dont want to get married and I've given up on relationships.
Me: I want a kid too, feel the same about relationships but why give up, right?
Her: true but the statistics of successful relations are dropping and divorce is going up....
Me: But statistically speaking... you smoke and drink...alot....so um

And thats where the convo kind of ended on a obvious odd note... simply... Health ramifications are more guaranteed before a statistic that your relationship wont last. If a Relationships fails... thats really on you.  

So this is chances.... just by Age... Not including, income, health, social status and Looks ( yes a lot of folks stay in relationships simply because they cant downgrade in the looks, sex, or money department)

Its just sad how people can use statistics to prove one part of their life may fail... and not to disprove it. But whats wrong with me, statistically speaking, I wasnt suppose to live on my own, in NYC, no kids, good, health, and be a college grad with fair credit...or even attend a college at all... or wait how old am I, arent I suppose to be Dead? But hey, thats just me. I dont have to show you the statistics for smokers and failed immune systems, just look up a truth ad campaign.


I know my friend isnt speaking for everyone but she isnt the only person I heard say that. WTF?! People where is your faith in Success. Nothing is easy but dont forget how to apply the knowledge you acquire

So, I would never bring up a problem without providing some solutions. I found 10 tips on avoiding divorce by Relationship Expert, Wife and Mother Michele Weiner-Davis. Simple tips, that applied with self honesty, will work (and if you wouldnt try this with ya spouse then you need to cut that long "fling" short)

1. Spend time together. Weiner-Davis warns that if you stop getting that quality time you run the risk of losing your friendship with your spouse.

2. Have sex. Pretty self-explanatory. Weiner-Davis says you better get it on!

3. Touch. Now, this one is different than #2. You gotta make sure you hug and kiss and cuddle and all that good stuff.

4. Flirt.  <---- C'mon Son, If you dunno how to flirt in your relationship

5. Talk frequently.  Like Really talk... quality conversation (note: quality) is important to me.

6. Give compliments.

Shoot, man. I do try. I just…fall short. *adding this one to my to-do list as well, plan to shoot hubby a “Damn, you look hot!” comment tomorrow*

7. Take a marriage class.... or Relationship Counseling   

NOT YOUR FRIEND... but I know there’s something you can learn in terms of your communication, and understanding of each other.

8. Handle conflict constructively.   (for Me this Means DOing whatever it take not to got to bed Mad)

9. Focus on the positives.

REAL Positives...not some "but it feel good tho" excuse or some shallow minded thing

10. Do “real” giving.

This one is pretty much following along the lines of the 5 love languages. It requires giving your spouse what he or she needs, regardless of whether you feel it’s important. Plus be Happy bout it...In my next relationship Im going to practice this a lot more.

How many did you mark off this check list and what are other ways you look out for your love and health?

Cell Phones On the Platform

It may be that no technological advancement in New York transportation history has been so equally desired and dreaded, but the ability to chat on a cellphone in the subway will finally be available — though in a very limited way — next week.

The wired underground project will begin on Tuesday at four stations in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, where subscribers to the AT&T and T-Mobile networks will be able to talk away on station platforms, transportation officials said.

Service will cease during trips in the tunnels, however, and anyone with a Verizon phone will be out of luck.

Providing the ability to rearrange meetings, converse with friends and be a bigger pest than usual to one’s fellow subwaygoers has been a long-sought goal of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority.

The pilot program will introduce cellphone reception to the C-E platforms at 23rd Street and Eighth Avenue, and three other stations along West 14th Street: the A, C, E and L platforms at Eighth Avenue; the F, M and L platforms at Avenue of the Americas; and the Seventh Avenue station that serves the Nos. 1, 2 and 3 lines.

The trial has no scheduled end date. The transportation authority says it hopes to extend the service to other parts of the system if it is deemed successful.

The program is starting about two years late. Transit Wireless, the company behind it, signed a contract in 2007 with New York City Transit and promised to begin a trial in downtown Manhattan by 2009.

The project stagnated until last year, when the company secured financing from an Australian wireless operator.

So chat it up...unless a train is entering or leaving the station, pay attention. 

REST IN TWEETS: The New RIP

Recently there was a death in the Hip hop world, cali swag district member MBooone was killed and everyone is sending their respect via Online. To me this is kind of silly, being that he is dead, but I understand. If you dont know who "Cali swag district" is, they are the kids who can teach you how to Dougie

So the web has been cranking out stories as to what has unfortunately happen but they keep including his Twitter Page >>twitter.com/MbOoONe and his Last Tweet. His last tweet was >>“@NewNew_Monroe: @MbOoONe smh plz tell yo gf nvr do dat again!”yea right<< Now with all the fame that has surrounded him its very sad to see something like this happen only to have your last words be a "side conversation"

Which got me thinking, when you die, what will your last tweet be? The internet in my opinion is becoming the new "Museum of Self". Now I know you may not care much of what happens to your fb or twitter after death but one guy programmed his website to keep updating and publishing new posts for a long time after his death. It's kind of a wild site, www.akumaprime.com. Now I'm not saying to do that but do make sure that your online self is in good hands in the worse case senerio because even though you may be resting in peace, you want to keep it that way. digitally.


We dont all have Fans, but Fans of the rap group immediately responded to the tragic news of M-Bone's passing on Twitter:

"R.I.P M-Bone of Cali Swag District! Got the homie and his family in my prayers!! To the whole crew keep y'all heads up! #luv" Young Money's Lil Twist wrote

SMH We gota stop this yall! Too many brothers in hip-hop, and just too many brothers in general die because of some BS.

"Omg im really sad now waking up hearing that @MbOoONe died...no more nice goodmorning texts such a sweetheart" tweeted NicoleSaldua


What do you think, should there be something for the online accounts of the deceased? Because it would be kind of odd to think your tweeting a "dead" acct. if you had no idea of the incident.

Age Limits Online

New Teens: " now that my mom knows about us, i quess i can unblock her from the old albums"

Are the privacy settings online too good? Should there be an age limit to those who wishes to use them?

Im not sure why or how young kids (13 and under) are signing online to social networks but what i do know is that they shouldnt be allowed certain privacy settings that can block their parents out. I do believe in personal space but I was raised in the "My House. My Rules" setting. I think I turned out pretty well, but with digital world its very hard to say " My Computer. My Rules" because accessibility for teen is a given and they use it like its a right. Not to say that the internet is or isnt a right but we should understand that is really is a privilege.

Osama: The Man, The Myth, The Hashtag

If life ever felt like a Soap Opera it would be now. After the Trump made it his personal business to get the President to show his birth certificate, the question became: “Seriously??? This is the news?”. I personally don’t watch the news but there is a quote that says “If you dont watch the news you’re uninformed but if you watch the news you’re misinformed”. You can say I’m selectively uninformed because I only read my news via twitter and news subscriptions via email. So how did I find out about the death of Osama? Facebook.

I was on facebook when I noticed my whole entire newsfeed was talking about about Osama is Dead. I went on twitter to confirm this and within 10 minutes @CCN confirmed that this was true. Unfortunately, celebrity deaths on twitter trend fairly quickly and are jokes/pranks, but this “Osama is Dead” hashtag opened the floodgates. Every joke and smart remark you could think of came out. I then started thinking about how convenient this death happened to be. That Obama’s rating goes down and bam! He’s a hero. I been hearing that bin laden has been dead for awhile now and I don’t see why I should believe this hype. You interrupt the apprentice to say he’s dead, cant confirm, but now what? Bury him, in the ocean. I cant believe it either.

Now, while I'm not going to discuss my discontent with the ignorant reactions to the situation. We, the people, have as much proof that Osama is dead as we do the "Area 51" stories. This is more about the internet being the ultimate game of Telephone. In fact, imagine reading a book and having someone interrupt your reading to switch books without you noticing or rip whole pages out.

This is the beginning to something new and not in a good way. I fear that we are being fed content that confuses more than clarifies. For example, the photo above is supposedly the reaction shot of when the White House got the word of Osama's Death ( or "Usama" according to Fox News). I just find so many things wrong with this picture. Hilary's off- reaction, eager happy onlookers, confused bench players, turned off open laptops and a Blurred picture on the desk. Im no conspiracy theorist but the signs that something is "missing" is as clear as day. I'm not saying don't find closure in this, I'm just asking to have a little decency. Plus to all you religious folks know that even David mourned Sauls death. Lets use this as evidence to bring the troops back, evidence to low gas prices, evidence to give back TRUE Fourth Amendment rights to the Airports and maybe just maybe I've believe that this wasn't let out the bag to smack Trump in the face before re-election.

What do you think? How did you find out?